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July 9th, 2007
07:04 pm
you fucking bitch.
I love your new fan.
I love her new clothes.
I fucking hate you more than I ever have.
Just go ahead, keep treating her better than me.
Fucking hold her on that goddamn pedestal.
again, you win.
i'm done with arguing, i'm done with fighting.
i'll be gone soon.
and you'll have your life how you've wanted it all along.
i hope you get cancer.
i also hope you know i'm not kidding in the least.
bitch.
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July 4th, 2007
02:30 pm
you are so immature.
you are so arrogant.
you are not worth it.
you can't just do this.
i understand what i did was not the best idea,
but this is just one more thing that proves my point.
I understand i've never made you proud, or been what you've expected of me,
but the least you can do is love me.
you've caused some of the worst times in my life.
and you've ruined some of the best.
I give up, you fucking win.
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June 26th, 2007
03:31 pm
So here's to the summer.
Here's to best friends and long days.
Here's to laughter.
Here's to love.
Here's to happiness.
Here's to life.
Dear summer, I'm so glad you've come.
I dragged myself through fall, winter and spring with you in my mind.
You've taken so much weight off my shoulders.
To you, I'm forever grateful.
Your long warm days make me happy.
Your bright sunny skies bring a very apreciative smile to my face.
Your disgusting humidity, however, I could do without.
I love you nonetheless.
(L)
Dear Jamieson,
I love you just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.
It no longer can describe what I feel for you.
It's so much more than just love. It's everything.
You are my star. You are my heart. You are my all-time best friend.
This year flew by like a week, I remember every second of it.
This love is so unconditional.
You've redifined so much for me
I love, love, love you.
Dear Best Friends,
I know you're real.
I know you won't turn your back, or a cold shoulder.
That means more than you know.
(L)
Dear Mom,
if you ruin this for me, I will never let it go.
i wish you would change.
but I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks, right?
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June 14th, 2007
05:59 pm
2 days until 10 months.
right now I can't even stop shaking.
fuck.
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June 13th, 2007
01:12 pm
I think, I finally need to say everything that I've never said.
I've let my entire life build up.
It's about time I let it out.
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June 10th, 2007
June 5th, 2007
03:41 pm
I am not seven years old, I can make my own decisions.
I'm sorry that by me leaving, you're getting less money.
But I don't think that should matter.
You can't keep me here to keep your pocket full.
You've been telling me to leave, or kicking me out for years.
Now I'm leaving, fucking be happy for once.
I'm doing as you say. So don't bitch.
I'm seventeen, I can do this.
I can establish my life without you.
You're nothing but the strings keeping me tied down.
Go fuck yourself.
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June 2nd, 2007
05:10 pm
the humidity is killing me, but this weather makes me feel alive.
waking up stuck to him. fall asleep sticking.
I love the summer.
--------------------------
On a different note,
i'm actually so excited on moving. I feel if I do this, and do it well I might actually prove myself to be more mature and ready than most think.
I know this might not always be easy, but I'm down for a struggle. I'm more optimistic about this than I usually am about anything.
I need to work on finances really soon. Get child support switched over, get a job etc.
Words can't describe how badly I want this. I will make it work.
-------------------------
On one more note,
my ears are finally where I want them.
I can get my tat for WAY cheaper.
I need to draw up my other one.
son of a bitch i'm stoked.
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May 31st, 2007
12:50 am
this night feels like days.
I need a cigarette.
I need reassurance.
I need his hand in mine.
I need to grow up.
I need a hug.
I need a life.
I need to not let this happen again.
I need to take this to it's full potential.
I need a new mouse.
I need a drink.
I need a popper.
I need to be less needy.
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May 29th, 2007
08:21 pm
oh dear,
I wish I could bring the smile to your face
I wish you knew that no one on this planet could ever take your place
And even though I'm alone the butterflies you left behind still make themselves clear in the pit of my stomach
The sadness in your eyes is unreal
I wish I could take you to the top of the world, where the sun would kiss your face just right
And as far as the masses can see, it will be a battle, between yellow and green
So lean over and give me a kiss, the soft comfort of your skin I'd hate to miss
I remember lying on your couch, holding you tight, the television our only light
You whispered in my ear, your words rung loud and clear
You said you were happy, I was too
You said you love me, I love you too
That was months ago, yet still so clear
I still remember how your smile was so sincere
oh dear
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May 15th, 2007
05:25 pm
I fight sweet dirty try hard losers.
3 day suspension.
fuck bitches. lol
why does everything have to be so damn chaotic?
even in the calmest of rooms.
tomorrow will be 9 months, words can't explain how much he means to me.
i never have anything to say anymore.
nothing to complain about, ever.
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March 28th, 2007
March 27th, 2007
05:21 pm
I have so much to say, but absolutely no idea of how to say it..
so, simply.... my life couldn't get any goddamn better.
:)
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March 15th, 2007
04:21 pm - :(
Today is a sad day.
Mouse ( aka, mighty mouse, trooper, lil' brucey, oreo, etc) died this morning.
I regret to inform you that his burial will be later this evening, and no one is invited.
:( i am sad.
you had a good run lil' buddy.
RIP MOUSE. FEB.2006-MARCH.2007.
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March 13th, 2007
01:36 pm
I do not want to work at water depot.
I do not want to sell water.
I do not care to keep people hydrated.
Fuck H2O and fuck working.
Fuck my 12 noon interview tomorrow.
BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SELL WATER.
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March 7th, 2007
05:39 pm - stop breathing bitch.
Every inch of this house makes me want to vomit.
If you're going to yell at me for stupid things, at least be consistent.
Happy, yelling, happy, screaming, happy, depressed, happy, inconsiderate,
happy happy happy, bitch bitch bitch.
That's how it goes. Daily.
I swear, as much as I am selfish, and as much as I am careless, I'm fuckin fantastic compared to you.
You have this wonderful way of making everyone around
you feel like nothing by the time you're done with them.
You have a great way with words. You know exactly
what to say to make someone breakdown.
I'm almost positive you enjoy it.
I hope he leaves you. I hope he leaves you in the harshest way he can.
I hope he spits in your face and walks out that door.
I like you better when you don't feel like moving.
I like you better when you feel empty.
I like you the best when you're feeling just as low as you make us feel.
Every inch of this house has your words plastered to it. Memories of you
screaming like an angry parrot stick out like yellow post-its on a black wall.
You're a piece of shit.
You give yourself more credit than you deserve.
I think I can honestly say I hate you more than Hitler hated the Jews.
I would rather spend 20 years in a Tibetan prison than ever have to see your fucking face again.
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March 5th, 2007
February 28th, 2007
03:33 pm
today is my birthday.
but for some reason i can't get a genuine smile on my face to save my life.
birthdays fucking suck
woo.
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February 15th, 2007
03:42 pm
it's the smallest things that make me smile bigger than ever
it's the smallest things that make me hug him for so, so long
it's the smallest things that make me want to be with him forever
it's the smallest things that make up the biggest, most wonderful part of my life.
i owe my greatest happiness to one person.
i owe great thanks to him as well, for being who he is.
for being everything I could ever hope for.
tomorrow will be 6 months.
i don't know whether to shit myself, or just to smile, really, really big.
:)
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February 5th, 2007
10:42 pm
what i want is to be needed.
what i want is to be indispensable to somebody.
who i need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention.
somebody addicted to me, a mutual addiction.
:) fave.
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